I Just Realized
by Desi772
Summary: What does jude do when she finds out she's pregnant? that's not all tommy has a family, a wife and a kid. but he's in love with jude how will it end? PLEASE READ! and review


This is a sad TJ fic cuz I've had it in my head and it wouldn't go away. I'm not totally sure whats gonna happen so it could be long, but don't take that to heart cuz idk right now. I hope you like.

I walked into the house I had now been occupying for 3 years now. This house used to be my safe haven away from the world alone with the one I loved and the one that loved me back. But this 3rd year it just wasn't the same. Tommy had been pulling back and sending me on vacations. That alone screamed cheater but I wouldn't let myself believe it. I was walking up the stairs when I heard his voice, he must know I was home he was singing this lullaby type thing he had composed for me and it was beautiful as always.

I walked up to the half open door to see something that shattered my world, Tommy was playing the song for a little girl and a woman he had tightly in his grasp. Once he finished the lullaby the little girl clapped. "I lub it daddy." the words the girl spoke shattered my soul. Inspecting the room further I noticed all the pictures of us were gone replaced by ones of a mystery woman and child. Just as I decided to storm in he gently kissed the woman's cherry lips. "I love you Kara." he whispered she replied by kissing him again. Kara? This was the woman who's name he called out in his sleep. I'd always question him about it but in return he would brush it off. Instead of storming in I turned and walked out taking his unborn child with me.

He didn't know I was pregnant but now I wasn't sure if I should tell him. I mean I wasn't an idiot I wasn't staying with the creep I just wasn't letting him know that yet. I'd let him know like I did everything else through a song. Right now I was numb and that was a good thing I needed my head straight so that I could get to my sister and brother in laws house. On the drive the feeling slowly started to creep back up on me. Before I knocked on the door I was in tears. Kwest was the one who answered when I had drummed up the will to knock. Taking in my appearance he quickly enveloped me in a hug calling Sadie's name over his shoulder. He gently pulled me into the house bringing me into the house as Sadie came down singing a tune way off key.

"Hey Judy what's up?" she said not taking in me and Kwest's embrace. Once she did though she saw the mascara running down my face. I had been telling her for about 3 months now that all the little trips Tommy was sending me on had me worried, but she brushed it off saying he just thought I needed a break from everything. "What did he do?" Kwest and Sadie said at the same time. Trying to get it out through my tears wasn't working, I tried to calm myself taking a deep breath. "I'm pregnant, and..." Sadie interrupted me smiling. "Your crying cuz your pregnant? That's the craziest thing you've done to date." I started to cry even more while Kwest said, "I don't think she was done Sadie." she nodded. "Oh, I'm sorry." I smiled faintly. "Tommy's cheating on me, or having an affair on his wife." I said being taken over by another rack of uncontrollable sobs. They sat there stunned silent. Once they regained the will to speak Sadie began. "Jude are you sure?" I laughed sarcastically.

Was I sure? How the hell could I not be sure. That son of a bitch wrote me a song and turned around singing it to a family I had no idea about? Oh sure just make my life a living hell but hold onto me even though you clearly have someone else. I began to cry again. My anger faded just as quickly as it came. By no means was Tom Quincy and angel but he was my angel. I thought I was the same for him. "Of course I'm sure Sadie. I got in from G-Major today earlier than I was supposed to, and remember the lullaby I told you about?" I asked waiting for an answer. She nodded as did Kwest. "I heard Tommy playing it so I walked up the stairs thinking he knew I was home, but when I got up the stairs there was a little girl that clapped and said 'I loved it daddy' then when I thought about going in I saw that all the pictures of any of us were gone. The ones that were up were of a woman that I now know as Kara because he told her he loved her. Then he kissed her. So I came here." I ended on a sob. Sadie came to join Kwest by me wrapping me securely in her arms. "I swear I'm going to kill that bastard for this." Kwest said in a livid tone. "No Kwest I have to do this my way." he looked at me still furious and nodded. I spent the rest of that night writing in my journal and crying my eyes out.

That next day I went into G-Major in a more than pissy mood. The receptionist that takes her daily jabs at me took one today. "Your man was great in bed last night." she said with a coy smile. I knew she was lying cause I went by our house this morning and the Kara woman's car was still there. I turned toward her and punched her smack dab in the nose. "Darius!" she screamed he ran from his office. "What the hell is going on here?" he asked looking between me and intern. "This stupid blonde bitch just broke my nose!" I turned toward her again bitch slapping her. "I'll show you how much of a bitch I could be." I said in a menacing tone. By this time Darius had me in his restraints. "Jude what the **Hell** is wrong with you?" Darius shouted at me. "D I want this little bimbo out of here now! And if I were you I would **NOT** get on my bad side today, and before you say or what my patience is thin **I WILL QUIT.**" that quickly shut up whatever tirade he was about to go on. He released me. "She better be out of here before this day is over." I said low and bitter, to my surprise Darius didn't argue.

I walked into the hospitality area to get ice for my hand. It was burning and I'm sure I fractured a knuckle. I quickly decided last night that I would tell Tommy I was pregnant today. I wanted to give him a false since that everything was okay then I would sing the song I composed last night. Walking into studio A I noticed the tension between Kwest and his friend. "Hey guys." I said Kwest perked up at that. "Hey Jude, what's up?" I plastered on my goofy grin. "I'm pregnant!" I beamed. Tommy choked on his coffee. His reaction tore another piece of my heart away. After the initial shock wore off he grinned at me. He picked me up spinning me around. I laughed it was so easy to fall back into the how it used to be. But his words echoed in the back of my head _I love you Kara. _I was instantly back to pissy mood Jude. "So I have a song I want to do um then I want to go home." Tommy smiled at me kissing my cheek. I thought to myself _no matter what you do, you'll always be my angel Tommy Q...but now it's time to let go..._ as an after thought. I went into the booth after doing all the soundboard stuff myself and calling my friend Kenny G into the studio with me.

Darius decided to come in then along with that kid and the woman Kara. Tommy's face paled considerably. Kwest looked at the woman and the kid and back at me I nodded. He held his hands up saying in 3,2,1 I began to pour my heart out into a tear stained song.

I heard he sang a lullaby  
I heard he sang it from his heart  
When I found out thought I would die  
Because that lullaby was mine  
I heard he sealed it with a kiss  
He gently kissed her cherry lips  
I found that so hard to believe  
Because his kiss belonged to me

How could an angel break my heart  
Why didn't he catch my falling star  
I wish I didn't wish so hard  
May be I wished our love apart  
How could an angel break my heart

I heard here face was white as rain  
Soft as a rose that blooms in May  
He keeps her picture in a frame  
And when he sleeps he calls her name  
I wonder if she makes him smile  
The way he used to smile at me  
I hope she doesn't make him laugh  
Because his laugh belongs to me

How could an angel break my heart  
Why didn't he catch may falling star  
I wish i didn't wish so hard  
Maybe I wished our love apart  
How could an angel break my heart

Oh my soul is dying, it's crying  
I'm trying to understand  
Please help me

How could an angel break my heart  
Why didn't he catch my falling star  
I wish I didn't wish so hard  
Maybe I wished our love apart  
How could an angel break my heart ?

I sang the last line with tears steadily rolling down my face. Opening my eyes for the first time Tommy was in tears too. Oh the irony, he breaks my heart and he's in tears? Oh fucking wonderful. Kwest and Darius were staring daggers at Tommy. The child and Kara were looking confused. This only lasted second for the child before she was in Tommy's lap saying, "Hello daddy." he smiled at her as he brushed his tears away. "Hello Anna." he said pecking the child's cheeks. Darius and Kwest were flabber gasted. I was sneaking out of the room as all the emotions played across their faces. Kara's was of understanding the child was in delight Tommy was in sorrow Kwest and Darius were disgusted.

When Tommy found me I was on the roof of G-Major looking out over the city. "You could have told me Tommy." was all I said once I knew he was there. "To what avail? You wouldn't have ever spoken to me again." I laughed icily. "The only thing I can say to you is that I'll carry your baby to term but after that it's your problem." I said getting up and leaving the roof. I heard a strangled sob.

_9 months later..._

Giving birth was the most excruciating thing I'd ever been through and by this point I'd take it all back to a time I didn't know Tommy Quincy. After giving birth to a little baby girl I decided to name her something I knew Tommy would like. We weren't speaking but the anger faded over time. Now I just felt somber and hollow. The baby's name was Clarissa Marie Quincy. Shortly after giving birth I signed my parental rights over to Tommy who pleaded with me not to, I just smiled and said "I'll always love you." before walking out of the hospital room and up the steps to the roof which was considered the 12th floor. Walking onto the roof I stood there just looking before I jumped. I felt like a weight had been lifted as I fell.

_Tommy's POV.._

Along with the papers Jude gave me releasing any right to see our baby was an envelope with my name on it. Opening I noticed other envelopes addressed to her parents and Sadie. Kwest had one and so did Kat and Jamie. Before reading mine I gave then theirs and began to read.

_Dear Tommy,_

_I'm hoping by the time you read this I'll be gone. I loved you with a passion that burned and in someways you were the Bart to my Lisa in others you were a lover and a font of wisdom. The love that we shared is something I don't think I could ever regret but it is now time for us to part ways. In that parting I will say to you ._

_The time has come that I must go. When I found out my life was void. Do not cry for me it's not your fault. Tonight I died so I could be set free. The pain was to great it washed over me. Just remember when you see our baby girl you'll see me in those dark blonde curls. I'm not going to drag this out I just don't want you to cry. Cuz tonight I took my life and left the lies behind._

_Love Always_

_Jude Elizabeth Harrison._

_Sadie POV..._

_My sweet sister Sadie we have had many a wild time and a cat fight or two but I just want to say I'm sorry and that I love you._

_The world delt me a hand that I couldn't overcome please don't blame Tommy he's only one human. I forgave him of his lies as I came to peace with my decision, so I hope you do the same and Keep an eye on Clarissa. Don't focus on the loss just focus on the gain, of a beautiful baby girl your daughter in a way. I love you so very much and this is where it ends. I want you to know that you've always been my friend._

_Jude._

_Victoria and Stuart POV..._

_I just wanted you both to know that I truly loved you so. And even though it saddens you to see me go know I hold you both so dear, and you should always feel my love even though I'm not near. It's just all I want to do is die, so in a way this is my goodbye_

_Your Baby Girl._

_Kwest POV..._

_Just because I'm through doesn't mean I'm far away when you need me just remember I'm forever in a crazy memory. King Kwest you've always been the very best friend to me. I'll miss you so but I must go goodbye and please don't cry._

_Jude._

_Kat and Jamie POV..._

_I want you both to picture my smile because where I'm going you won't be for a while. I love you both with much of my heart. I hope your relationship never falls apart. But for now I must go, and be with Angie up in the sky. Oh by the way I'll tell her you said Hi._

_Forever your best friend Jude._

_**THE END**_

A/N: I feel like a baby cuz I started to cry while writing this. Please tell me what you think. Oh and I don't own anything except intern girl Kara, Anna, and Clarissa also the poems. The song is by Toni Braxton.


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